How Do I Redeem Conflict?: Managing Conflict Series Part 2
By Steven L. Childers
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In this book you'll be equipped from Scripture with the principles and practices needed to help you prevent and manage conflict in ministry. You’ll learn to:
Understand the ordinary dynamics of conflict (Chapter 1)
Discern the unique opportunities provided by conflict (Chapter 2)
Distinguish between healthy and unhealthy conflict (Chapter 3)
Put into practice the biblical model for resolving conflict (Chapter 4)
Repent for your role in conflict in a way that brings healing (Chapter 5)
Pursue reconciliation with others after conflict (Chapter 6)
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Transcript
In his excellent book, The Peacemaker, author Ken Sande describes three opportunities provided by conflict.
1) An opportunity to glorify God
The first one is that conflict gives you an opportunity to glorify God. The first question we should ask ourselves when faced with conflict is “How can I please and honor God in this situation?”
The truth is that is often the last question that comes to our mind. The first question we often ask ourselves is “how can I defend myself? How can I win this battle? I want to take matters into my own hands and I want to win this fight.” Such a response usually leads to even more trouble.
Instead, we must remember that in conflict, God is still sovereign. This conflict does not happen by accident. It's a part of God's good and perfect will for our lives, and for our ministry. This conflict is an opportunity for us to honor God by trusting him and obeying him in ways we may never have before. Author Ken Sande says “Every time you encounter a conflict, you have an opportunity to show what you really think of God.”
2) An opportunity to love others
Conflict also gives us a new opportunity to love others. Here the question is “how can I love these people who have offended me this way?”
Jesus said, "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you." When you have been wronged by someone, that does not release you from your God-given responsibility to love them. In fact, it is often our first opportunity to love them well, and it could be their first opportunity to be loved in a way that no one has ever loved them before.
3) An opportunity to grow spiritually
Conflict also gives us an opportunity to grow spiritually. This is the question, “How can I grow spiritually through this conflict?” Through conflict, God often reveals sin in our hearts that we had no idea was there. Through conflict He humbles us and draws us near to Him and to others in new ways. In doing that, He often changes us forever.
I will never forget one of the first major conflicts I faced as a church planter and a pastor. I was forced to trust God in a way I never had before. It was the first time my wife saw me cry hard, she said later.
Through that conflict, God did a very painful, but a very needed surgery on my heart, exposing my sin in ways that I'd never seen before, and the same time, revealing His power and love in, and through me, as I had never experienced before.
It was a severe mercy for which I will always be grateful that would have never been mine without that conflict.
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*Reference: The Peacemaker by Ken Sande